urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana kyrieana kyrieana 2007-08-20T13:59:42Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:4847 2007-08-20T13:59:42Z 2007-08-20T13:59:42Z Down another 2lb, thats 6lb in a week or so..<br /><br />Today I've eaten:<br />B: coffee w milk 25cals<br /> banana 100cals<br />L: HM cabbage soup 85cals <br />with tsp pine nuts 35cals<br />S: 40g roast chicken 60cals<br /> coffee w milk x3 75cals = 380cals<br /><br />I also had a bite of chocolate cake thing... no idea how many cals in that... no more than 40.<br /><br />For dinner I'm having sweet potato with cottage cheese:<br />130g sweet potato 100cals<br />70g cottage cheese is about 55cals I think. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:4563 2007-04-26T08:20:39Z 2007-04-26T08:20:39Z I've lost about 3lbs in the past week or so. <br /> I've been eating between 800 and 1700 cals a day, doing a tiny bit of exercise, walking abit, stretching, housework, that sort of thing.<br />I've been drinking a ton of water too, I'm so thirsty all the time.<br /> I know I shouldn't be losing, but my scale said 18stone! My last scan sheet said I had a BMI of 45.6!!<br />45.6!!! For god's sake! It's disgusting.<br /> I didn't mean for this to happen, I just couldnt finish a whole meal without feeling absolutely terrible! <br />I was full for hours after eating, cranky, lethargic. I got indigestion constantly, wind constantly. <br /> I just meant to eat smaller meals more often. Then I tried to make them healthier, easier now since I've gone off chocolate and biscuits.<br />It's all gone a bit pear shaped now, I dont want to eat 2000+ cals a day, I dont think I could.<br />I want to exercise to ease childbirth, and the SPD. I'm trying to do it safely. I'll talk to the physiotherapist when I go about safe exercise.<br />I might mention the weightloss, but I'm not sure I could hide the fact I dont want to eat.<br /><br />My good mood has gone, I feel sad that I'm alone. I've been excited about the baby, now I'm just confused. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:3884 2006-09-13T11:54:48Z 2006-09-13T19:26:38Z I'm conducting an experiment...I'm cutting out everything bad from my diet after watching an icky program on the telly last night.<br />I'm doing this for 2 weeks, and I'll be updating regularly. I want to see the real effects of bad food on the body, other than weight.<br /><br />Last night I ate so much cheese! I felt so bloated and gassy it was unbelievable... so, no cheese.<br /><br />The Rules:<br />No hard cheese(limited cottage/feta allowed)<br />No white carbs<br />No sugar<br />No salt(added in cooking)<br />No bad fats<br />No processed foods<br />No meat(oily fish is allowed)<br />No milk<br />Limited dairy(yoghurts)<br />No alcohol<br />No fizzy drinks<br />No E-numbers/preservatives(very difficult)<br />No condiments: ketchup, may, mustard etc<br /><br />Nuts/seeds everyday(handful)or<br />1 boiled egg white in place of nuts/seeds.<br />Varied fruit & veg(at least 5 portions a day)<br />Fish 3 times a week<br />3 litres(just over 6 pints) of water a day<br />3 cups coffee max per day.<br />6 small meals a day.<br />Varied Exercise 4 times a week for an hour(at least)<br />Vitamin supplemets everyday<br />Green/peppermint tea everyday <br /><br />Today: <br />breakfast, <br />1/2 grapefruit, <br />1 yoghurt<br />cup coffee <br />about 100cals, feel good eating breakfast.<br /><br />lunch, not really hungry, but i have to eat it now or I'll binge later.<br />salad of tomatoes, cucmber, peppers, carrot, grapes, green beans and pumpkin seeds. <br />dressed with vinegar, olive oil, pepper and herbs.<br />wow, difficult not to have mayo! or at least a little something to use as a dip...<br /><br />about 215cals.. brought up by the olive oil and seeds, but theyre are very helpful calories. oilive oil is reputed to be one of the best foods u could eat, so..<br /><br />snack, <br />one crispbread(white carbs i know, but SOMEONE ate all the wholemeal ones)<br />with marmite<br />about 32cals<br />Marmites brilliant, loads of vitamins in there and no unnatural preservatives!<br /><br />dinner, <br />veg stirfry, broccoli, courgette, carrot, garlic, cabbage with colive oil and vinegar<br />banana for my sweet craving urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:3645 2006-09-12T18:00:26Z 2006-09-12T18:00:26Z B - 1/2 grapefruit<br />D - 1/2 tin tuna<br /> - 4oz cucumber<br /> - tsp ketchup<br />lots of coffee.<br />intake for today about 200cals! woot!<br />now i feel sick, ate too fast...lol urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:3417 2006-09-09T20:47:48Z 2006-09-09T20:47:48Z B - 1/2 grapefruit 40cals<br /> - black coffee 20cals<br />L - 1 med carrot 40cals<br />S - 2 grapes 4cals<br /> - 3 cm cubes cheese 50cals<br /> - 1 slice apple 7cals<br /> - 1 mini cheddar 25cals<br />D - 1 wholemeal cracker 27cals<br />S- stock cube soup 15cals<br /><br />Total = 228!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:3089 2006-09-08T17:21:31Z 2006-09-08T17:22:45Z B- 90g melon 24cals<br /> 100ml orange juice 44cals<br /> tea with milk 42cals<br />L- prawn salad: <br /> 70g prawns 50cals<br /> tsp light mayo 20cals<br /> tomato 40<br /> cucumber 8 <br />S- handful caramel-chocolate popcorn 200cals<br /> tbsp 1/2 peanut butter 140cals<br /> tsp chocolate spread 50cals<br /> 2 handfuls indulgence muesli 250cals<br /> 2 bits brown bread 210cals<br /> tsp margerine 34cals<br /> tsp cheese spread 40cals<br /> 1 tomato cup-a-soup 92cals<br /> bite of white bread 10cals<br /> 3/4 packet of quavers 60cals<br />D- prawn sandwich:<br /> 80g prawns 60cals<br /> 2 tbsp light mayo 100cals<br /> 2 bits brown bread 210cals<br /> 1 1/2 sausages 115cals<br /> bite of sweetcorn 5cals<br /> 2 tsp mashed potato 40cals<br />P- Smoothie:<br /> 1 large banana 120cals<br /> 1 large mango 110cals<br /> 100ml orange juice 44cals<br /> 100ml raspberry&pomegranate juice 45cals<br /> 1 yoghurt 60cals<br />Total= 2223 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:2908 2006-09-06T12:08:31Z 2006-09-06T12:13:29Z B - 1 slice seed bread toast 100cals<br /> - margerine 35cals<br /><br />S - 1/4 galia melon 24cals<br /> - 3 strawberries 11cals urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:2564 2006-09-05T09:02:24Z 2006-09-06T12:12:39Z B - smoothie:<br /> - banana 100cals<br /> - 200ml milk 90cals<br /> - coffee 10cals<br /> - ice 0cals<br /> = 200cals<br /><br />L/D - 2 boiled eggs 180cals<br /> - 3 crispbread 90cals<br /> - 50g peanut butter 150cals<br /> - salad: tomato 40cals<br /> cucumber 6cals<br /> lettuce 4cals<br /> cheese 60cals <br /> other - 70cals<br /><br /><br /><br />Total= 800cals urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:2404 2006-09-04T09:45:00Z 2006-09-04T21:07:19Z Breakfast smoothie:<br /><br />106g strawberries 32cals<br />90g galia melon 24cals<br />56g frozen banana 56cals<br />50ml orange juice 20cals<br />handful ice 0cals<br /><br />B - smoothie 132cals.<br /><br />S - 5 HM crisps 35cals<br /><br />D - salad of romaine lettuce, cucumber, tomato, radish<br /> with - lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, cheese 100cals.<br /> - ratatuollie 35cals<br /> - bread, cheese, butter, herbs 75cals = 200cals<br /><br />Coffee 30cals<br /><br />Total = 397cals urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:2172 2006-09-03T12:59:55Z 2006-09-03T19:04:46Z B - 1/2 grapefruit 40cals<br />S - 2 grapes 4cals<br /> - 1/4 apple 10cals<br /> - sliver of cheese 5calsL <br />L - 2 pickles 10cals<br /> - cucumber 10cals<br /> - salsa 10cals<br />D - 1/4 carton soup 60cals<br /> - Stock cube 15cals<br /> - 2 crispbreads 30cals<br /> - margerine 60cals<br /> - small slice HM grain bread 80cals<br />S - 10 slices ham 140cals<br />Too drink:<br /> - mint hot choc with coffee 100cals<br /> - 2 cans Sprite 7cals<br /> - 2 glasses wine 250cals<br />Total: 831 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:1986 2006-09-02T15:06:15Z 2006-09-03T13:02:29Z 11am B - coffee 2<br />1pm D - can Lilt 10<br />1.30pm L - 4 grapes 8<br /> - 1 strawberry 3<br /> - tiny bit of yoghurt 5<br /> - banana 100<br />4pm D - 3 tbsp pasta with chicken 130 <br /> - half a crispbread 15<br />5.30pm - HM crisps;<br /> 28g potato 38<br /> 2 tsp olive oil 86 <br />Total consumed: 397<br /><br />Too Come - bottle of wine 87 per 120ml=562.5<br /> - can Sprite 3.5<br /> <br />S - 4 slices ham 56 cals<br /><br />Total: 1019 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:1563 2006-08-30T08:47:57Z 2006-08-30T08:47:57Z I've just made this wicked smoothie, full of vitamins and potassium, which is an electrolyte, lost during exercise..so, good all round.<br /><br />The one I made came to around a pint, and was 260cals.<br />140g banana. 140cals<br />80g cherries. 40cals.<br />200ml orange juice. 80cals.<br />Blend with ice and there you go.<br /><br />it's so nice! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:1283 2006-08-29T18:25:16Z 2006-08-29T18:25:16Z B - 2 black coffee, 1 sweetener = 10cals<br /><br />L- tomato, lettuce, cucumber, turkey breast from sandwich = 55cals<br /><br />S - gum = 15cals<br /><br />to drink;<br /> - Frappucino, tall, light = 220cals<br /> - Fizz = 11cals<br /><br />D - 1/4 carton soup = 65cals<br /> - stock cube = 15cals<br /><br /> Total = 376<br /><br />Exercise:<br /> Walking (shopping) 2 hours = 580cals burnt<br /> Rowing 10 mins = 168cals burnt<br /> Cycling 10 mins = 102cals burnt<br /> Weights 10 mins = 110cals burnt<br /><br /> Total = 960 burnt urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:1212 2006-08-28T12:26:37Z 2006-08-28T16:44:04Z So, I'm starting this up on here, just makes it easier..<br /><br />B- one peach = 60cals<br /> coffee = 5cals<br /><br />L- 1/4 carton soup = 65cals<br /> veg stock cube = 15cals<br />(too water down soup)<br /><br />S- salsa = 4cals<br /> gum = 10<br /><br />D- Lilt Zero = 10cals!(where's diet gone?!)<br /> %pints water = 0cals<br /><br />Total so far = 169<br /><br /> Aim to have 150cals for dinner: veg, cottage cheese/egg white..<br /><br />Ok, so ma mde me dinner, not too bad.<br /> <br />2 dessertspoons peas and carrots, boiled<br />roasted courgette, carrot, onion, garlic and pepper.<br />Little roast chicken.<br /><br />dunno the cals... i need to make it myself i think urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:1001 2006-08-19T18:17:30Z 2006-08-19T18:17:30Z Thanks too the people who posted here... :)<br /><br />Just wanted to write abit, and I'm abit wary of doing it on proanorexia because of all the trolls and 13yr olds wannarexics....<br />I feel fake just saying that...<br /><br />I've barely eaten anything for the past few days, just a few veggies, a little protein, and lots of water and even more coffee!<br />No one's even noticed yet. People wouldn't be too fussed if they did, cos I'm so overweight, but I dont want my family getting all "are you alright?" on me.<br /><br />Yesterday I was so upbeat. Today I'm really sad. <br />My ex came over the other night, to fix something on my pooter. He's messed me about so much, and I'm getting the feeling I've let him do it again. I promised myself I wouldn't cry... but he hasn't called, and I can't call him.<br /><br />If he says "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that too happen" then I will die!! There's still apart of me that wants to stick up for him and understand him. But I just can't allow that anymore.<br />One good thing about it, is that all the girls that he hangs around with are all so slim. I hate the fucking lot of them, and one day, not only will I be smarter than them, I'l be thinner, prettier and sexier than them. Ok scratch that last one. If I'm having a really good day I can feel sexy...<br /><br />I'm soo tired. I have to go and babysit in 15 minutes. I dont actaully have to do anything except watch tv and keep an ear out(?).... I'll be able to get some fruit and veg tomoro tho...ma couldnt get them with the shopping cos were so damn poor at the minute...<br /><br />ok, enough of my .... going on about shite... it's good to remember I'm still controlled by depression. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kyrieana:521 2006-08-04T20:27:41Z 2006-08-04T20:30:13Z I am a fat person. I am clinically obese. I have put on 4 stone in the past year.<br />My fat is repulsive, it layers so thick I can't see a hint of bone.<br />It jiggles and wobbles as I plod about, I've got pockets of flesh forming where they shouldn't.<br />My fat covers my body, obscures who I really am.<br />My mind is blurred, lost, useless, needing. I hate the way I look, the way I move. I hate how I can eat superflous calories without a pause.<br />I'm sick. I'm disgusting. Even the most loyal of men would have left by now, horrified.<br />There is so fat on my body it obscures my vision, my sense of self.<br />I need to control my life now.<br />I need to take control and find out who I really am underneath all this fat.<br />I want to peel it off, layer by layer, revealing a better, brighter, more beautiful, lighter and purer me.<br />Me!<br />I want it off! All of it! All the fat! Gone! And quickly. Seeing myself makes me sick!<br />I want to sweat it out!<br />I want to starve it off! I don't want to be "curvy", I don't want to be normal or average.<br />I want to be perfect. An angel!<br />Freed from physical shackles!<br />I could be so much more!<br />I'm sureof it. I'm sure of it!<br />I'll eat what I need. I eat what I need.<br />No more.<br />I'll shed these many pounds and emerge a queen.<br />Slim, slender, lean. The real me. The inner me.<br />Skin and beautiful bones.<br />Hunger and sweat will be my friends. Pain and cold my sisters.<br />I've never been able to stay in control.<br />Never been able to keep in sync.<br />I eat for purpose, not pleasure. When I am thin I will be perfect.